The executive branch has whiskers
Trump Cat
He governs the room and ignores the briefing.
Executive Residence
The West Wing
Trump Cat arrives before breakfast and occupies the largest chair without discussion. He studies every folder by sitting on it, removes unsecured pens with one paw, and pauses meetings whenever sunlight reaches the carpet. Staff have learned that a slow blink means approval, a tail flick means the briefing is over, and an empty bowl requires immediate bipartisan action.
Terms of Office
The administration runs on upholstery, selective listening, and strict control of all objects near an edge. These are the standing terms.
Ticker
$TRUMPCAT
Official residence
Whichever chair is warmest
Primary duty
Moving pens off desks
Cabinet policy
Closed until treats arrive
Approval signal
One slow blink
Press strategy
Stare past every question
Trump Cat
Make the bowl full again.
